The Pat Man is leaving
November 11, 2008
Thanks, y’all for coming by. As fun as this blog was, I’ll be deleting the Clash this week. I’m starting a new business and I can’t be distracted. I’ll still frequent your sites–thanks again.
My watch says it’s time to get some sleep!
Pat
An Argument For Home Schooling
November 6, 2008
For all you Obamatrons (people brainwashed by a symbol and a few words repeated over and over) out there who think Obama is good for the economy, here’s a glimpse of reality for you (as if any of you who voted for him know what a chart is). Notice how the Dow gapped down the morning after the coup–actually a double gap if you look at Thursday morning. Note how the market has lost 900 points since Obama was officially anointed just two days ago Read the rest of this entry »
The Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers
November 5, 2008
Thanks, Paul for the cartoon!
Sorry ‘Church of Christ’ Brothers, Baptism Isn’t ONLY By Immersion
November 4, 2008
Church of Christ readers, this post is nothing like you’ll ever learn at Pepperdine, Harding, or Lipscomb.
I’ve received a number of letters, calls, and emails from my former Church of Christ congregations asking me to rethink my conversion to Catholicism. The conversion was inevitable–as one former minister complained, I was becoming “too Catholic in my thinking.” In short, I’m being asked to believe in some religious models that history and scripture do not support. The human mind is so powerful, it can actually create images that cannot really exist (see picture on left). In the same way, many pillars Read the rest of this entry »
Another Milk / Meat Issue: Evolution
November 2, 2008
I was never a very good fundamentalist. Believing that Genesis is some sort of scientific textbook, accurate to the minutia of zoology is, in my opinion, a hermeneutical disaster. It seems I am in good company.
The Vatican is inviting speakers to a special congress to address the case for evolution on what will be the 150th anniversary of Darwin’s “The Origin of Species.” Seems appropriate in some fundamentalist’s minds–seeing as both the Vatican and evolution are both “demonic.” As the modern protestant / fundamentalist experiment works out its growing pains, the Catholic Church is engaging with scientists and philosphers to further understand God and his second book. Read the rest of this entry »
The Pat Man Halloween Haunt
November 2, 2008
Halloween is over, and I promised I’d post some pics of this year’s Pat Man Halloween haunt. I’m unhappy with the quality of the pics, but I’ll give it my best to describe the action. For those who really enjoy Halloween, you may get a kick out of my previous post about Halloween costumes. Read the rest of this entry »
Spread the Candy Around
October 22, 2008
Bambie Obama announced today his policy for Halloween trick-or-treaters. Reaffirming his utopian fantasy, he said that the “candy needs to be spread around.” The trick-or-treaters who pound the pavement, work hard, and gather the most candy will be required to hand over, under fear of jail, half their candy to less fortunate trick-or-treaters. “It isn’t fair that kids who work harder get more candy,” Obama said, and the “change America needs is the kind of change that makes fat kids fatter–rewarding sloth and punishing success is almost as important as killing babies.”
OK, not the most creative, but nobody says it like the Pat Man!
What Is American? Remember The Story of The Alamo!
October 21, 2008
Anyone else tired of liberals saying their position is American? All one needs to do is consider the story of The Alamo to determine what is and is not American. If the men who defended the Alamo were made of what constitutes as the pillars of liberalism, then the story would have gone like this: Read the rest of this entry »
Halloween Costumes
October 7, 2008
Halloween can be a difficult time for some Christians; Fundamentalists sometimes throw “alternative” Halloween parties. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of exciting costume ideas found in the Bible. Therefore, Little Tommy ends up spending the prior evening constructing a costume that is less cool than the occasional “thumbs up” might suggest.
The “alternative” Halloween parties are especially difficult for girls. Even though today’s trend of girls dressing up like sluts could be an attempt to look like the prostitutes Jesus ate with, there are relatively few female Bible heroes. Girls are at times forced to say things like, “sure, Wonder Woman is in the Bible, read it again.”
Kids can be so adorable! Catholics have a couple thousand years of spiritual heroes to draw inspiration from, but Calvinists have a much more shallow tradition. However, creative Calvinists are not stopped by their lack of depth and some even dress up to represent just how they believe God sees them! In consistent form, they dress up as Read the rest of this entry »
Reformed Theology: AKA Poop
October 5, 2008
hen I was teenager, I was out jogging with a reformed theologian youth minister. It was that time of year when the Canadian geese fly through Colorado leaving Denver spotted with disgusting goose poop. It can be so thick that it makes jogging difficult at times.
As the youth minister and I came upon a completely plastered section of the path, he stopped me and told me to look at it. He said that that is how God sees people. We both stared at it as if it was art. To him, it was the Mona Lisa and was caught up in his philosophical fantasy of God, mankind, and excrement.
Hyperbole doesn’t exist in the mind of some Christians, so when our “rightiousness” is like filthy rags then one is saddled with the inevitable guilt that one can never choose good–and we are supposed to think Read the rest of this entry »